Silly Little Kids!

"FLOSS YOURSELF! FLOSS YOURSELF SOME LINDSAY LOHAN!"

Nowadays with relationships- what gives? Substance is slowly draining out of it- Dudes are desperate for attention and girls are way too... sexy.

You silly guys...

Do you really think that making an idiot of yourself gets girls? "Hey babe!!! WWHOOOOOOOOHH!!!" howls the quarterback, sticking his head out the car window as he attempts to grab the attention of a chick walking down the sidewalk. It's sad first...... "What is that thing trying to do? A mating dance?" ...then funny: "GOOD LORD!!! A PASSING MAILBOX JUST TOOK HIS HEAD OFF!!!"
This does not work, guys. Expecially when the girl has something you may not have heard of: Dignity!!! It's what people have when they are confident in themselves. You know what you look like to them? Jack Black. Except fatter. And let's say you get the girl: "What's this 'talking' thing? I want you to bounce up and down like a monkey on crack like how you did when you got me in your car! BOUNCE, MONKEY BOY!!!!"
This also does not work.

Oh, and you silly girls...

You remember how Sandra Dee herself, the original bad girl, was dressed up in the last scene of Grease? That had to be sewn together while it was worn. It couldn't even be put on or taken off. That's how tight it was. To whom it may concern- Stop dressing like hoes!!! Perhaps you didn't understand the implications when your minishorts exploded last week. That scream of pain you heard? It was the minishorts! They don't want to be stretched! Are you really so lacking in confidence that you'd rather have boys drooling over your assets that look like Pamela Anderson on steroids? And then girls complain that boys only care about their bodies..... This does NOT WORK. If you really do have self-confidence issues, seek help, by all means. But ignoring it by pointing people's attention somewhere else doesn't work. "So Lindsay, you're so anorexic that people are actually using you to floss their teeth?" ".....I broke up with my girlfriend! I'll tell you everything!"
This does not work EITHER.

Now that I have jocks, cheerleaders, and Lindsay and her ex-girlfriend chasing me, I'm going to say that you should probably try focusing more on what you like, not what other people will see you as..... and a little less cliche, SHOW SOME RESPECT!!!

Someone tell that quarterback to find his head. He probably hasn't noticed.



Rolling out like Optimus Prime.....